Baseball Mom III: Managing drama, advice for parents

February 21, 2025

Managing Baseball Drama

By Stephanie Van De Ven

Canadian Baseball Network

You know what they say: “There’s no crying in baseball.”

But when has that ever been true?

Baseball (and life) is full of passion, yelling, cheering, screaming, sliding and yes ... even crying.

So how do you manage (and avoid) all the tears and drama? And more specifically, what kind of drama are we avoiding?

In this blog, we’re going to talk about a few sore points that I am certain every Baseball Mom in Canada has experienced at one point in time or another and how to avoid them.

1) Baseball Mama Drama

2) Coaches Drama

3) Baseball Team Drama

Let’s start with the one that hits home for most of us:

Baseball Mama Drama

I have been very fortunate myself to have met and befriended some of the most wonderful baseball Moms during my time to date. Unfortunately, one or two Moms have creeped up in the years I’ve been at the diamonds and like a moldy orange in the fruit basket - they bring nothing to the table except toxicity and it spreads.

I can remember one in particular: she was a lovely person until anything (I mean anything) happened to her son. He struck out - she started drama with the coaches. He didn’t get the position he wanted - she started bad mouthing coaches to the parents. Another kid made a great play and all of a sudden he was showing off - and the story goes on and on.

She really made coming to games a drag and I would find myself purposely positioning my lawn chair far away from wherever she was every single time - practices included. It made it awkward for everyone and so much less enjoyable.

This particular drama queen of the diamond also thought her kid was an all star (which Mom in reality doesn’t think this?) and was convinced he was headed to the majors straight from the dugout of 8U travel ball!

Any conversation with her became taxing and you had to watch what you said in fear of it getting twisted and repeated to others on the team creating even more drama!

Just writing about it gives me flashbacks of when all I really wanted to do was sit back, cheer and relax with positive parents supporting their children like me, at a good ‘ole baseball game.

Here’s the thing: you can’t control how other Mom’s behave - but you can definitely control how you do and if you think for one second your kid doesn’t notice that you’re the ‘drama’ - think again, mama!

How to avoid: Create distance, keep conversations positive, don’t engage in the drama and sit far away (if possible) from the drama.

Coaches Drama

Have you ever experienced great, supportive and fantastic coaches who genuinely care about their players, the families and the team? I have and it made for an incredible season that was full of fun and learning, skills development and growth of all kinds.

But have you ever had to deal with a coach who is surly, grumpy, negative and likely decided to coach so his or her kid could get a ‘free ride?’ I have too and it definitely dictated a different kind of season all together that was not fun, with zero skills development and the kind of growth you wish your kids never experienced: negativity.

So how do you deal with the less-than-professional coaches and their drama? This is a fine line between getting along and causing hell for your child all year long and both of these options don’t benefit your children.

Isn’t that the entire reason of signing them up for baseball to encourage, support, and build their confidence as well as skills as a player?

I know not everyone has what it takes to be a great coach - but in my personal experience, I have dealt with all kinds and there’s one in particular that stands out. He would smoke cigarettes near the team, yell obscenities and mumble hurtful things under his breath in the dugout so only one or two kids could hear and let me tell you - that did not boost morale or confidence of any kind.

He was grumpy, entitled, negative on and off the field, and had little value to offer the team. The kids were terrified, and they lost steam usually after the 3rd or 4th inning when the coach decided it was ‘yelling time’.

So how do you manage that and not throttle them?

In this particular circumstance we were lucky enough to have a handful of other wonderful coaches who more than made up for his lack of ethics and coaching. (Phewf!) But I do realize that some baseball families and teams aren’t as lucky and if that is your situation the best thing you can do is write a professional email to the association and board of directors with dates and circumstances for them to look into. Some association websites even have a process to follow in the event that there is “Coach Drama” which proves that you aren’t the first, and sadly you won’t be the last.

How to avoid: I feel like as a Baseball Mom you have to tread lightly, defend fiercely when the time is right, and observe carefully to make sure both you and the dramatic coach in question are in check. This is where you cue the baseball tears because sometimes, as hard as it is to admit? The coach is right.

Other times? The coach is completely off and until you get into the safety of your vehicle and you’re backing up out of the ballpark you won’t know how your child feels and that’s when it’s okay to cry in baseball - as long as you pick yourself back up and come out stronger.

Sometimes you have to use the ‘Let Them’ theory and brush it off. Sometimes you have to use the ‘Mama Bear’ theory and escalate it if it’s serious.

Baseball Team Drama

This type of drama, in my humble opinion, might be one of the easiest dramas to manage and it’s because for the most part, the drama happens after games on group chats.

One kid is mad at another kid for not tagging the runner, or another player on the team is angry at himself for not getting the out resulting in losing the game. Whatever it is - usually it dissipates and is forgotten.

On the flip side, this also means that if anything that is perceived as bullying, harassment or something more serious that targets your child or anyone else on the team? There is evidence and proof. Much like a recent situation in the hockey world; you need to take it seriously and report it immediately. Always.

There is zero room and tolerance for malicious intent and drama in baseball - it’s the best game in the world so let’s keep it that way!

For the most part, I have found ball teams and boys to have a few beefs here and there but generally it’s amicable and the boys get along well. There’s this great camaraderie in baseball that I haven’t seen or experienced anywhere else. Baseball players just get it. It’s positive, supportive, and fun.

They learn, grow, develop and experience life together on and off the field and in many cases - you meet and keep the ‘bestest’ friends of your life and it’s all because of baseball.

How to avoid: Have regular conversations with your child and children about the longlasting effects of texts, bullying, negativity and conflict resolution. Let them know that you, the coaches, and the baseball families don’t tolerate drama and regular surprise phone checks (your child’s phone) are never a bad thing if you ask me.

Drama can find anyone, at any time. I really do think that one of the biggest (and best) parts of baseball is that it humbles you, strengthens you, forges lifelong friendships, prepares you to watch out for those curve balls, and reminds you to always swing for the fences.